My little insane, pointless interview with Dib
by Invader Jaz
Summary: This is just mindless hyperness from too much time on me hands...that or coke. Anyways, there's some ZADR bashing.. So no flames! **Eats some snack** Oh...and I deleted the last one from minor confusion with the ZADR and ZAGR. I wrote the last one at 4am.
1. Interviewness!

Look at me! I get to interview the Dibbish!

*******

Jaz: Woo! I get to interview DIB! Yes! Be amazed! WAHAHAHAH! You ooze with envy, do you not!? Well, I do!! WAHHA! …wait. How does that work? Well, this may get confusin'. Anyways, have fun! WOO! Oh, and I don't own IZ. WARNING: This fic may cause serious brain damage to your ponies and bunny slippers. Oh such damage shall be rained upon- OH MY TALLEST!! IT'S HAILING!!!!! THE CHEESE SPEAKS!! **Runs away** Ahem…anyways…to the fic. (How am I telling you this if I just ran away?!?!?!)

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Jaz: **Holds a brain freezy and glances around the 'studio', which is just her dads office, where she's typing this.. O.o** Where's Dib!!!?? I must interview!!!

Dib: **is thrown in by tall, confusing looking androids (Aka: to lazy to explain.)** ACK! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!?! WHO **ARE **YOU PEOPLE!!?

Jaz: …um…I'm Jaz? And I'm the only one in here. **Watches the androids stomp away**

Dib: AHH!

Jaz: O.o Hello to you, too.

Dib: Why am I here? Who are you?? How the hell did I GET here, anyways??! **Gets up and looks around all paranoid like.**

Jaz: For an interview, Dib. ^.^ 

Dib: ACK!!!! HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME!?

Jaz: Silence! Sit down!

Dib: **Raises an eyebrow and sits down next to Jaz, still looking over the room nervously.** so wait…why do you wanna interview me?

Jaz: Fer fun!

Dib: Well, fun for you, but this is creeping the living bologna outta me… O.o

Jaz: bologna? 

Dib: Never mind that. **blinks** And you didn't answer me!!! How do you know who I am and where I live?

Jaz: I'M Doing the interview, here! And what do you mean I know where you live?

Dib: …Well, you sent those androids after me… O.o

Jaz: OH YEAH!

Dib: …-.- Well, just get into the interview so I can go, please. O.O

Jaz: Hey! Now was that nice?

Dib: **Shrugs**

Jaz: OKAY!!! First question! **pokes Dib in the gut and bounces in her chair.** ^-^

Dib: Ooohhhh…kaaaayy… **rubs his stomach.** …ow. What is it?

Jaz: Do you agree with ZADR? **Stifles laughter** (Yeah, right!)

Dib: What's that?

Jaz: **leans over and whispers stuff into Dib's ear.**

Dib: …o.o….O.O!

Jaz: **Whispers some more**

Dib: ACK!! EW!!!   
  
Jaz: **bites his ear and goes back to sitting.** 

Dib: OW!! **Rubs his ear.** Well, lemme tell you something… I DO NOT AGREE WITH ZADR!!! I mean, come on!! Who would honestly think I'd have feelings for Zim?!?! I hardly even know him, besides him being crazy, somewhat paranoid, very stupid and-

Jaz: Don't know him, eh?

Dib: Well still! I hate that! Why would I love the thing I wanna dissect?! Or at least send him off to Mysterious Mysteries to by dissected live!! Ooo…

Jaz: ^ ^;; Yes, okay. Umm…I see your point, and I thought you'd answer like that, and no, I am NOT a fan of ZADR. -.-; Just…ew. Anyways, next question!

Dib: Oh, goody. -_-

Jaz: Why do you enjoy the studies of the paranormal so much?

Dib: Well, I dunno. **Shrugs** They just interest me, and also, I think when I was younger-

Jaz: You where abducted by aliens and turned into a genius super baby?

Dib: Along the lines of that somewhere… O.o

Jaz: Anyways, continue.

Dib: Well, also, I just think it SHOULD be studied. I mean, don't you think it should be? It's really interesting. Plus, I just like it because… I guess no one else does, that or I'm just…crazy?

Jaz: Neat…which brings me to the next question! Why are you crazy?

Dib: I'm not! I'm perfectly…okay, define 'perfectly', but I'm sane!

Jaz: Kay…next one…why is your head so big?!

Dib: ARGH! My head's not big, dammit!!

Jaz: Yes, you're right indeed. It is very large. Okay then! Next question!

Dib: .

Jaz: Heheh..

Dib: What?

Jaz: Do you like Gretchen?!

Dib: WHAT?!? …no! I don't know her…at all! Seriously!

Jaz: Well, she likes ya. O.o She was jealous when you and Tak where- HEY! On to the next question…eheheh… Did you like Tak before you found out she was an irken?!

Dib: Typical girl questions… -.-

Jaz: EH?!? Shut up!!

Dib: …okay?

Jaz: Answer the question!!!

Dib: But you told me to-

Jaz: SILENCE!!

Dib: **Twitches**

Jaz: Anyways, go on.

Dib: Did I like Tak?

Jaz: Yes. I believe that was the question, Dibbeh.

Dib: Um…well…yeah.

Jaz: In what sence?

Dib: huh?

Jaz: More than a friend, or just a friend.

Dib: ……………………………… O.o

Jaz: Well?

Dib: Why do you wanna know, anyways?

Jaz: Cause it's an interview!!! **Beats Dib with the card things**

Dib: ACK! OW! OW! Okay, okay, OKAY!!

Jaz: TELL ME NOW, STINK!!!

Dib: o.o; Um…I guess so.

Jaz: You guess what?

Dib: I guess I did kinda like Tak in a sense over then…being…just…yeah…

Jaz: A friend?

Dib: Alright! Let's get to the next question, then. O.o

Jaz: WAHHAHAH! I KNEW IT!

Dib: ohhhh, boy. -.-

Jaz: EVER SINCE YOU HAD FIRST SEEN HER YOU DID SOMETHING…ER…WEIRD! WHAHAH! SO I ALSO KNEW WHEN YOU AND HER WHERE SITTING ON THE-Oh yeah! The next thingy question mo-bob. Er…what was it? **Dropped all her cards.** -.-

Dib: Don't ask me. Can I go now?

Jaz: NO!!! You stay, big head boy!

Dib: MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!!! Come on, peo-eh? Jaz?

Jaz: **Sitting on Dib's huge head.** yeah? 

Dib: …………… What are you doing?

Jaz: Looking to see if my cards are lost on yer head!!! **Scoots around**

Dib: O.O Eh…**Bows so Jaz falls off.** 

Jaz: **Tumbles off of Dib and lands on her tush** OW!!! Son of a -CARD!! I found it!

Dib: …Son of a card? O.O

Jaz: yes. Now then, next question… DO YOU LIKE MY CHARACTER JEENE!??!? ^______^

Dib: …Who?

Jaz: JEENE!

Dib: …no?

Jaz: Taaay…um…**looks around for more cards.**

Dib: -.o … -.-;

Jaz: AH-HAH!!! Another question… Do ya think that Gaz and Zim go well together?

Dib: ……………………………….

Jaz: Well?

Dib: I'm afraid it took awhile for that message to hit my brain, and when it did, I didn't get it. 

Jaz: …what?

Dib: Can you please repeat that?

Jaz: Sure! Do you think that Zim and Gaz should go together as a couple? ^.^ 

Dib: …………….

Jaz: That's okay. Take your time.

Dib: …You're an idiot, aren't you?

Jaz: **nods insanely** YUH-HUH!!! ^_^

Dib: Well…all I have to say to that is… **Gets his back pack and beats Jazy with it several times** NO, I DO _NOT_ THINK THAT MY SISTER AND…AND…_ZIM_ SHOULD GO TOGETHER!!! YOU SPEAK WITH THE CRAZINESS!!!!

Jaz: Ow! OW!! OkAY!! I GET IT!!

Dib: NO YOU DON'T!! **Continues to beat Jaz** Also, Zim doesn't seem like he'd want anyone, the same goes for my sister!!

Jaz: OW!! **grabs his bag and tosses it…somewhere.** **a scream is heard from the audience.** (Wait…there IS no audience!!) Well, I'll give you the thing about Zim, but you don't know that about Gaz!!

Dib: Yes I do!! She's my sister. O.o

Jaz: Very true. Well, it was just a question.

Dib: About the stupidest one yet.

Jaz: Well, blah to you too.

Dib: Hm. Can I have a sandwich or something?

Jaz: SURE!!! **Goes off to make Dib a sand-o.** OH! AND ANDROIDS!!

Android #3: Yes?

Jaz: LOCK UP THE HOUSE!!! **Goes off**

Dib: -.-

Er…hate it? Love it? Flame it? Or…just like it? Well anyways, R/R, and I may write some more.


	2. Attack of randomnese!

Disclaimer: Invader Zim isn't of my owning…sadly. Also, sorry I took so long to update. I just didn't really get around to it.. ^ ^;

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*Chapter 2*

MORE INSANE RAMBELS!!! I LIKE RAMEN!

Jaz: **Comes back in with a large platter of sandwitches.** I hope you like bologna! ^_^

Dib: -.- No actually, I'm very scared of that stuff. Bad experiences….

Jaz: (Notice that I keep on going to the bologna jokes? XD Gack-ness.) Okie. T'bad!! I get 'em all now! **Sits back down**

Dib: Do you have any clue as to when this'll end??

Jaz: Not one. 

Dib: o.o Why is it that that's not so very reassuring?

Jaz: HIMITSU!

Dib: A what now?

Jaz: Nothing! Eat your bologna sand-o's!!! THEY LOOOVVVEEEE YYYOOOUUUU!!!!

Dib: O.O;; … O_O Um…

Jaz: **Gets a sand-o like thingymajigger and smooshes it in Dib's face**

Dib: ARGH!! IT BURNS!!! **Shoves Jaz away.**

Jaz: **retackles Dib and throws several sandwich items at his huge head.**

Dib: **Evades!!!**

Jaz: **…………………….after long last………………EATS!** 

Dib: So are we going to continue this thing or what?

Jaz: Mmph phh shft ff…!

Dib: Ah. 

Jaz: **Finishes up.** **Gets a Xellos plushie outta no where and huggles it.** Ooookiiieee… ACK! MY Q CARDS!!!! **Shuffles around with Xelly plush.**

Dib: **Groans** **Falls over**

Jaz: **Comes back up with a hand full of card things, still holding the Xellos plush**

Dib: **Twitches**

Jaz: Alrighty, let's see what we've got here!

Dib: **Jumps back up.**

Jaz: Okie…hmm… If Earth was already conquered by Zim, who decided to leave after only five minutes of ruling and leaving giant robots to terrorize the Earth for him, would you go with Zim to another planet to ride giant space bunnies and drink space cola if he offered?

Dib: O.O **Raises an eyebrow** Ehhh… That was very…uncalled for.

Jaz: Indeed. Do we have an answer?

Dib: Not really. I practically forgot most of what you just asked me. ~ ~;

Jaz: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooookaaayyy.. ANYWAYS! Hmm…ANDROID NUMBER FIVE HUNDRED SIXY SEVEN!!

Dib: Do you even HAVE that many androids?

Jaz: Fine, make it number …twenty!

Said Android: Yes ma'am?

Jaz: Have you gotten scanned for bugs yet?

Android #20: …No…

Jaz: GASP!! Go now!

Android #20: **Pouts and goes.**

Dib: …Okay. That was an interup- 

Jaz: HEY DIB!! What's that on your head?!  


Dib: Huh? **Touches the top of his head and screeches.** AAHH!!

Weird goblin troll fetus: RAaAwwRR!! 

Dib: WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?

Jaz: Perhaps it is rare African jumping sugar cane.

Dib: There's no such thing, you idiot. AAAHH!!

Weird goblin troll fetus: **Chewing on Dibs Head.** Blllaarrrr, blaaaar, billiard….

Dib: Billiard? Ow! OW! 

Weird goblin troll fetus: WAHAHHheeEEEEEEEEEEHEEE!!! ReEeeee…hiss!

Jaz: WAAHHAHAHAHhaaHAH!!!!

Computer: Ma'am!

Jaz: WAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAH-Hack, ack, *COUGH*…choked on my mint. BUAHAhah,…oh, yes?

Computer: There has been a problem detected with android #20!!

Jaz: Really?! What?! **Pulls out some ice-cream and licks it frantically, utterly worried and terrified. God the gooses…** 

Computer: It…demands 'freedom', your liege. 

Jaz: Humm?? Freedom? Freedom? What is this, FREEDOM?! **Hisses on her ice-cream and devours it messily.**

Computer: Let me show you.

(Dib is in the background wrestling the weird goblin troll fetus, which hisses, claws and bites at his large head.) 

Weird goblin troll fetus: RAAWK, HISSSSS, FISS, FISS!!! RAWR!!! Your head is big.

Dib: It is not!!!!

Weird goblin troll fetus: WARK, WARK!!?! HISSSSSSS!!!! **Spits.** How did you understand me?!

Dib: I read the captions.

Weird goblin troll fetus: HISSSSS!!! RAWWRRR!!!! HHHHHHHHHISSS!!!! SHREE!!! HACK, HACK, HACK!!! COoOoOooooOoo HISS!!!… **Bobs its head like a turkey and flicks its forked tongue.** Oh.

--

Computer: **Extends a robotic arm with a lil television screen.** 

Android #20: I DEMEND FREEDOM!!! I DON'T HAVE A PERSONALITY UP UNTIL NOW!!! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAMETAG!!!

Jaz: Whaaaa? **Raises the eyebrow she doesn't have, due to being irken…then again, is in human form…so has eyebrows…ahhh…I see…**  


Android #20: WAIT…I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME!!! I DEMEND TO BE NAMED. IF YOU DO NOT-

Jaz: Android, your caps are stuck.

Android #20: EH? WHAT? OH. Oh. Is that better?

Jaz: Much.

Android #20: Anyways, if you don't name me, I kill HIM!  
  
Jaz: **GASPS!!!** NOOOOOO!!!  


Android #20: THAT'S RIGHT!!! I'LL **KILL**XE LLOS!!! **Holds a tazer to the perfectly calm Xellos, who yawns and runs a hand through his silky, soft chin lengthed violet hair.**

Xellos: Oh, hello there…^.^

Android #20: SHUT UP OR DIE!!!

Xellos: …Um…okay…**Blinks his ever closed eyes.** ~.~;

Jaz: Xellos!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Xellos: ^o^ Jaz!!! NOOOOO-…wait. I don't know you, and also, Android, I'm something called a mazoku, a certain breed of demon-

Jaz: A sexy one at that. **Drool.**

Xellos: …u-um…Anyways, a breed of demon that cannot die by one weaker than they. ^_^ Basically, you can't do-

Android #20: **Sleep squeezes Xellos's neck.**

Xellos: Ack!! Oohh…whoa…~.~; **Passes out.**

Jaz: !!!!  


Android #20: Are my demands to be met, creature?

Jaz: No, I already know all about Xellos's breed, being the Slayers fanatic I am, so-

Android #20: What about him? **Holds the tazer to Zelgadis.** Even WITH stone skin, he can't EVER withstand the awesome power of this-

Jaz: HeY!! Are the IZ characters all anime now since some anime characters are here? Or…wait…it was originally IZ style, so the Slayers people in that sort of fashion! Wow. Hard to imagine. (Stef, draw me my picture!!)

Android #20: HELLO?! I'm talking here.

Jaz: Oh, sorry, DO continue. 

(-This has gotten so far from the plot of an interview…let's continue, shall we?!-)

Android #20: Yes yes…where was I…oh yes… -EVER withstand the awesome power of this tazer made strong enough to even kill a…big…giant…scary…um…PIKACHU!!

Jaz: **GASPS!!!**

Zelgadis: This is ridiculous…

Android #20: SILENCE!! JAZ, GIME ME A NAME!!!

Jaz: How about…Ketsu? (Ketsu means ass in Japanese.)

Android #20: Um…I don't even understand that, so no.

Jaz: How about… The Hater?

Android #20: What? Why that?

Jaz: Look at you! You've only taken the demons hostage!! You have a thing against demons!

Android #20: Oh, no!! It's not like that…you just like them…so…

Jaz: So they deserve to die?! What's _wrong_ with you?!?!?!

Android #20: **Sniff sniff** …Oh…I'm sorry!! **Cries and ends the messege.**

Jaz: Well, that was stupid.

Dib: **Trapped in a netting of web on the wall with the weird goblin troll fetus SPIDER crawling over his body, hissing and making all of its other weird noises.** AHHH!!!  


Jaz: Lah-dee-dah-dee-dah…

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: WREEEEE!!!! Wark, wark, wark!n **Hisses in his face and spits web on his mouth.**

Dib: MMMM!!! MmMm!!!!

Jaz: Wow, it sure is quiet.

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: **Screeches and shrieks, breaking Dib's glasses and the computers screen.** Waaaaahhhrrrrkk!!!!!

Jaz: So, on to the interview, Dib. **Yanks down the weird goblin troll fetus spider into a chair.**

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: Wark? 

Jaz: So, at what age did you start to get interested in paranormal studies?

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: REEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! Hisss, fiss, fiss!!! Grawr, grawr, WARK!!!! HhhheeeeCHACKACHACKA!!! 

Jaz: …Umm…innnterestiiinggg….anyways….

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: **Bobs its head.**

Jaz: Is it just me Dib, or did you get all these weird scalies and tiny arms, a long, thin neck and tail, spider legs, and a smaller head than normal? One that looks like its from Aliens or something, too.

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRK!!! Wark, CH-CH-CH!! **Bobs it's head with each 'ch'.**

Jaz: Hmmm…I know! Have you had your tetnis shot?! You could be sick, Dib!

Weird goblin troll fetus spider: …**Blinks its unexsisting eyes.**

Dib: **Screams into the web in frustration, and in amazment/pitty of Jaz's idiotic-ness-ness.**

Jaz: So, next question.

-----EnD--

Well, that was odd and random. Where's that narrator I bought? Oh… **Shoves Ryou onstage.** Narrate!

  
Ryou: *tragic sigh.* Why am I doing this again…?

Oh, silly pretty boy Ryou! Because I'll _kill_ you!© 

Ryou: Oh, fair. Okay. **Clears his throat.**

Ryou: Will Jaz ever realize that Dib and the weird goblin troll fetus spider are totally different, and not the same being? Will Android #20 get what he wants, Whatever that is, due to him changing his ideas!?

Android #20: I am not.

Ryou: And will Xellos and Zelgadis wake up and leave Jaz? Do any of us REALLY care!? Find out next time! **Winks.** 

Good thing I put him on a bit of a sugar high…

Ryou: How was that?

Fair. You can go back to being dead.

Ryou: I am **not **dead!

Yeah, Tristen killed you by throwing your ring away and tearing your soul away from Bakura, so you're like…lost in the Shadow Realm!

Ryou: Oh, shit. That sucks. 

Anyways, R/R!!! ^.^


End file.
